In a perfect world, we all would be calm and serene, and our interactions with others would always be kind and considerate, as would their interactions with us. Sadly, this is not a perfect world.
We all have days when we get up on the wrong side of the bed, or when something upsetting or stressful has happened, and we just can’t let go of it. Just as we have those kinds of days, so do all the people that we interact with — family, friends, coworkers, neighbors. Even the most thoughtful of people can find themselves being short with someone else because they’ve had a bad day. It happens.
Wen someone else is inconsiderate, thoughtless or downright rude with us, it’s easy to go to a place of annoyance, anger, or hurt and to find yourself muttering something like “I didn’t do anything to deserve that. ________ really hurt my feelings”. You may be a “give as good as I get” kind of person, and lash out. It’s doesn’t help..it just makes things more difficult.
When you find yourself in this kind of situation, why not step back and try to see the situation through the eyes of the other person? Did your son or daughter just get pushed around by the neighborhood bully? Did your husband have a run-in with his boss? Did your neighbor just find out that his/her job is in jeopardy? Wouldn’t you be upset if you were in that situation?
It’s entirely possible that the best thing you could do for all concerned is to step back with a smile, and with the understanding that what happened may have had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with whatever situation is going on in that person’s life.
There is a difference, though, between choosing to not point the finger, and allowing people to walk all over you. If you know of something going on in the other person’s life, that may give you the motivation to not engage them in an angry or confrontational way. If you have no idea what might be going on, give that person the benefit of the doubt. If the behavior happens again, maybe you could try talking to that person and trying to sort things out.
Most important is not to assume that you’re being attacked verbally or insulted in some way. You have bad days, I have bad days, we all have bad days. I wouldn’t like having anyone assume the worst about me on one of my bad days. I’m usually a kind person, but a financial problem or an argument with a friend or family member might have pushed me over the edge emotionally. Bottom line..give others the consideration that you would like to have extended to yourself.
Tapping Script For Not Taking Things Personally
Setup – Karate Chop:
- Even though I’m sometimes quick to jump to the conclusion that others are passing judgment on me, I’m ready for that to change, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
- Even though what happened really hurt my feelings, I’m open to the idea that ________ might have been having a bad day, or might be feeling upset or stressed, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
- Even though I’m upset with __________ right now, I’m willing consider letting go of that feeling, and bringing some healing to this, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Reminders:
Eyebrow: I’m really upset with __________
Side of eye: _________ didn’t have to act the way he/she did
Under eye: It was insulting
Under nose: It was upsetting
Chin: I didn’t deserve that kind of treatment
Collar bone: When someone hurts me that way
Under arm: Sometimes I feel like hurting them right back
Top of head: Maybe it’s time to bring some peace to this.
Eyebrow: I don’t like being treated that way
Side of eye: But maybe _________ was just having a bad day
Under eye: It felt very personal when it happened
Under nose: But maybe there was nothing personal about it
Chin: I’m ready to start letting go of some of this hurt
Collar bone: I’m ready to move toward healing
Under arm: Starting to release those hurt feelings
Top of head: Transforming that hurt to an energy of peace.
Eyebrow: Breathing out more and more of the hurt
Side of eye: Feeling my body start to relax
Under eye: I’m ready to cut ________ some slack
Under nose: And to move on from there
Chin: Continuing to release those hurt feelings
Collar bone: I’m feeling better about myself
Under arm: And I’m feeling better about _________ too
Top of head: Tranforming the last of the hurt into a healing energy.
Visit my website at Seeking Serenity.
