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Posts Tagged ‘anger’

In a perfect world, we all would be calm and serene, and our interactions with others would always be kind and considerate, as would their interactions with us. Sadly, this is not a perfect world.

We all have days when we get up on the wrong side of the bed, or when something upsetting or stressful has happened, and we just can’t let go of it.  Just as we have those kinds of days, so do all the people that we interact with — family, friends, coworkers, neighbors.  Even the most thoughtful of people can find themselves being short with someone else because they’ve had a bad day.  It happens.

Wen someone else is inconsiderate, thoughtless or downright rude with us, it’s easy to go to a place of annoyance, anger, or hurt and to find yourself muttering something like “I didn’t do anything to deserve that.  ________ really hurt my feelings”.  You may be a “give as good as I get” kind of person, and lash out.  It’s doesn’t help..it just makes things more difficult.

When you find yourself in this kind of situation, why not step back and try to see the situation through the eyes of the other person?  Did your son or daughter just get pushed around by the neighborhood bully?  Did your husband have a run-in with his boss?  Did your neighbor just find out that his/her job is in jeopardy?  Wouldn’t you be upset if you were in that situation?

It’s entirely possible that the best thing you could do for all concerned is to step back with a smile, and with the understanding that what happened may have had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with whatever situation is going on in that person’s life.

There is a difference, though, between choosing to not point the finger, and allowing people to walk all over you.  If you know of something going on in the other person’s life, that may give you the motivation to not engage them in an angry or confrontational way.  If you have no idea what might be going on, give that person the benefit of the doubt.  If the behavior happens again, maybe you could try talking to that person and trying to sort things out.

Most important is not to assume that you’re being attacked verbally or insulted in some way.  You have bad days, I have bad days, we all have bad days.  I wouldn’t like having anyone assume the worst about me on one of my bad days.  I’m usually a kind person, but a financial problem or an argument with a friend or family member might have pushed me over the edge emotionally.  Bottom line..give others the consideration that you would like to have extended to yourself.

Tapping Script For Not Taking Things Personally

Setup – Karate Chop:

  • Even though I’m sometimes quick to jump to the conclusion that others are passing judgment on me, I’m ready for that to change, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  • Even though what happened really hurt my feelings, I’m open to the idea that ________ might have been having a bad day, or might be feeling upset or stressed, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  • Even though I’m upset with __________ right now, I’m willing consider letting go of that feeling, and bringing some healing to this, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Reminders:

Eyebrow: I’m really upset with __________
Side of eye: _________ didn’t have to act the way he/she did
Under eye: It was insulting
Under nose: It was upsetting
Chin: I didn’t deserve that kind of treatment
Collar bone: When someone hurts me that way
Under arm: Sometimes I feel like hurting them right back
Top of head: Maybe it’s time to bring some peace to this.

Eyebrow: I don’t like being treated that way
Side of eye: But maybe _________ was just having a bad day
Under eye: It felt very personal when it happened
Under nose: But maybe there was nothing personal about it
Chin: I’m ready to start letting go of some of this hurt
Collar bone: I’m ready to move toward healing
Under arm: Starting to release those hurt feelings
Top of head: Transforming that hurt to an energy of peace.

Eyebrow: Breathing out more and more of the hurt
Side of eye:
Feeling my body start to relax
Under eye: I’m ready to cut ________ some slack
Under nose: And to move on from there
Chin: Continuing to release those hurt feelings
Collar bone: I’m feeling better about myself
Under arm: And I’m feeling better about _________ too
Top of head: Tranforming the last of the hurt into a healing energy.


Visit my website at Seeking Serenity.

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Anger is one of the strongest emotions that we experience.  It can range from mild annoyance to full blown, over the top fury that consumes you.  Feeling anger when something happens that is hurtful or upsetting is normal.  Unfortunately, for a lot of us it’s also normal to continue to carry anger for years, or even for a lifetime.

What we don’t realize when we continue to carry anger over our past is the toll that it takes on us.  Anger is an active emotion.  It takes energy to stay angry…energy that could be better used in any number of ways, if only we could let go of the anger.

Somehow, though, we feel that letting go of anger at someone who has hurt us would amount to letting them off the hook.  They did something awful,  they really hurt me, and they should have to pay.  The big problem here is that YOU are the one who is paying, over and over and over.

Many of us were raised to believe that anger was an inappropriate emotion.  As a child, we were warned angeragainst outbursts of anger.  We learned to hold that anger in, to hide it from the world.  We got so good at hiding the anger that at some point it even was hidden from us.  We hide it, and then somehow we manage to consciously forget all about it.  Anger?  What anger??

Because so many of us have gotten so good at hiding and forgetting about our anger, it’s not a part of our daily awareness, but it’s always there, in the back of our mind, working to protect us for all the hurt and pain in the world.  It’s always ready to pop out at a moments’ notice, ready to do its’ job, which is keeping us safe.

You will never forget the bully who lived down the block from you and picked on you every time you left your yard.  You won’t forget your fifth grade teacher, who singled you out from the class and embarrassed you repeatedly.  The reason you won’t forget them is that the anger at them is still there, hovering just beyond your consciousness.

This is an area where EFT can make profound changes in your life.  Once you have identified the core issues behind your anger, tapping can help you to let go of the anger.  It’s hard to imagine the level of relief that you can feel once you’ve tapped on some of your anger issues.  Suddenly you realize that you have reclaimed all that energy that you were sinking into maintaining the anger.  Suddenly you feel lighter, since the weight of all that anger has been lifted from your shoulders.

In order to be able to eliminate the anger, you have to be able to specifically identify the causes so that they can be tapped on.  The questions below are designed to help you do that. Get some paper and a pen. Sit down quietly and really give some thought to the questions. Write down the answers. Most important of all, be honest with yourself.

What’s My Anger All About?

  1. Who am I mad at?
  2. What did that person say or do to me to make me angry?
  3. What was so bad about it that I’m not able to let go of the anger?
  4. When this person did whatever it was that they did, how did that make me feel?
  5. Did they cause me emotional pain?  If so, what kind?  How bad?
  6. What would it take for me to be ready to let go of the anger?
  7. Do I really WANT to let go of the anger?  If not, why?
  8. How would I benefit by continuing to hold onto the anger?
  9. How would I benefit by letting go of the anger?
  10. Do I feel like letting go of the anger would be like forgiving the person who hurt me?
  11. What is getting in the way of me being able to release my anger?

If you can honestly answer the above questions, you will probably have lots of thoughts, feelings, emotions and memories to plug into your own tapping statements in order to work on your anger.  Good luck with your anger work, and if you’d like some advice on crafting your anger tapping script, email me at pat@seeking-serenity.com.

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Headaches…we all get them, and they’re not much fun. Often our headaches are a result of stress, anxiety, anger, frustration and other negative emotions. A bad day at the office or a confrontation with a spouse or child can lead to an aching head and a general feeling of misery.

headache Frequently our reaction to a headache is to take a couple of Tylenol or aspirin and lay down in a dark room, hoping that the pain will pass quickly.

Luckily for all of us, EFT is amazingly effective for headaches, and a couple of rounds of tapping can often completely eliminate the pain.

It’s always best when working with EFT to be specific in what you tap about, such as “Even though the boss really stressed me out today and that made my head start to pound…” or “Even though _________ really aggravated me and made me angry and now my head hurts…”.

Since I’m trying to give folks a generic starting point, a script that they can change and tailor to their own needs, the script below is more general. Please don’t be afraid to replace my words with your own, specific to the situation that caused the headache.

Tapping Script For a Headache

Karate chop:

  • Even though my head is pounding and that really hurts, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though my head hurts so much that all I really want to do is lie down and close my eyes, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though my headache is so bad that I can’t stand the pain, and all I want is for the pain to stop, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself, and I’m open to considering that maybe this tapping stuff can stop the pain.

Eyebrow: My head is hurting SOOO much
Side of eye: I can’t think straight when my head hurts like this
Under eye: All I can think about right now
Under nose: Is making this pain stop
Chin: My head feels like it’s in a vice
Collar bone: And that vice is squeezing it tighter and tighter
Under arm: The pain is making me miserable
Top of head: And I’m ready for some relief.

Eyebrow: This tapping stuff looks kind of silly
Side of eye: But maybe it will help, so I’ll keep tapping
Under eye: Starting to let go of anger that might be causing this pain
Under nose: Letting go of frustration too
Chin: Releasing any stress that might be hurting my head
Collar bone: And allowing my body and mind to relax
Under arm: Continuing to release all the negative feelings
Top of head: That might be causing this headache.

Eyebrow: Breathing out anger, frustration and stress with every breath
Side of eye: Breathing in peace, relaxation and healing
Under eye: Releasing the tenseness in my head and body
Under nose: And starting to feel better as I do that
Chin: Releasing all the negative feelings that may have contributed to my headache
Collar bone: And feeling more relaxation and less pain
Under arm: With every breath that I take
Top of head: As I moving toward healing and inner peace with this headache.

Visit my website at Seeking Serenity.

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Anger is a part of all our lives.  If we’re really fortunate, we may not have a lot of people around us that make us mad.  If we’re less fortunate, we may find that every day is a test for us, and that we spend an awful lot of time trying to stay calm in the face of irritations, aggravations and stressors. 

I was married to a man for 12 years that didn’t think anything I did was right.  He infuriated me by nit picking about every detail of our lives.  If I went to the trouble of baking a cake for him, it was too dry.  If I cooked a nice dinner, the food wasn’t hot enough.  If I dusted all the furniture, I missed a few spots.  You get the general idea. 

I have long since divorced that jerk, and thereby bought a lot more serenity into my life.  At the time that I was married to him, EFT didn’t yet exist, else I might have found serenity a lot sooner.

If you have someone in your life that seems to be constantly making you mad, whether it’s a spouse, a child, a parent, a neighbor or a coworker, EFT is the perfect way to deal with that anger.  It works quickly and easily and leaves you feeling relaxed and at ease, once the anger has drained out of your body. 

Two or three rounds of tapping can make a profound difference in you attitude, and can allow you to much more easily make it through the day.

Below is a sample tapping script for anger at your spouse, but the words can easily be changed to better suit your specific needs.  Give it a try, and let that anger go right now with EFT!

Tapping Script For Anger at a Spouse

Karate chop: 

  • Even though I feel a lot of anger at my husband/wife, and I feel like he/she makes my life much more difficult than it needs to be, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though I’m really mad at my husband/wife for being _______ (demanding, unreasonable, argumentative, etc.) and that anger makes my whole body feel as tight as an overstretched rubber band, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though I feel like I’m angry at my husband/wife all of the time because of the way he/she acts, I know that the anger is only hurting me, and I’m open to starting to let go of some of that anger, and I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.

Eyebrow: I’m so angry at my husband/wife
Side of eye: My husband/wife constantly picks at me about everything
Under eye: Nit picking and criticism is the order of the day
Under nose: And that makes me really, really mad
Chin: I can feel that anger all through my body
Collar bone: Every muscle is stretched too tight
Under arm: I’m tired of feeling all tied up in knots
Top of head: By all the anger that I’m dealing with.

Eyebrow: I’m full of anger at my husband/wife
Side of eye: But I’m willing to consider starting to let go of that anger
Under eye: That anger is keeping me stressed and upset
Under nose: And I’m ready to start feeling better about this
Chin: Starting to release some of that anger
Collar bone: And feeling my body relax, a little at a time
Under arm: Letting go of that feeling of being strung too tight
Top of head: And enjoying the feeling as my muscles start to relax.

Eyebrow: My anger isn’t serving me well
Side of eye: And I know that it’s time to get rid of it
Under eye: Letting the anger drain right out of my body
Under nose: With every breath that I take
Chin: And replacing that anger with a feeling of peace
Collar bone: Feeling better and better as I keep tapping
Under arm: And loving that I’m feeling better and more relaxed
Top of head: As I move toward a place of healing and inner peace.

Visit my website: Seeking Serenity.

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I worked in the IT field for 20 years. For most of that time, I loved my job and my boss, and felt like I was making a difference. Then there was a political shake-up, upper management was dismissed, and a boss I had tremendous respect for was replaced by a man that I knew to be both incompetent and vindictive. Suddenly I found myself in the job from hell.

I know all too well what it’s like to work in a place where you are not appreciated, not respected, and are generally treated like dirt. In all fairness, I have to say that just about everyone was treated like dirt, which didn’t help with group morale in the least.

It’s a terrible feeling to go into work each day wondering what bad things will happen, and who will be fired, and whether you yourself will have a job at the end of the day. Fairly quickly I got to a place of dreading going to work each day. As soon as I woke and my feet hit the floor, my first thought was “Oh, no..I have to go to that place!”.

As stress levels rose on the job, and the situation became more and more emotionally charged for the entire staff, I started searching for a way to deal with that overwhelming stress. It was at that point that I stumbled across EFT, and I really believe that it saved my life.

After downloading the free EFT manual and learning the basics, I began using EFT daily on the job. After a stressful meeting or a difficult confrontation with the boss, I tapped. Honestly, some of my coworkers thought I was a bit wacky, and laughed at me, but I didn’t care. I kept right on tapping, and it became clear fairly quickly that EFT was an effective tool.

I was about a year away from being able to retire, and my main objective was to survive until retirement. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t tap. No matter what the issue was, EFT helped.

In October of 2008 I finally reached the minimum age for retirement, filed all my paperwork, and happily marched out the door on my last day with a big smile on my face. I’m now enjoying my second career, as an EFT practitioner, and hope to keep spreading the message about what a wonderful technique EFT is for a long time to come!

If you’re in a job that’s driving you crazy, and are forced to work for someone who makes every day miserable, here’s a tapping script for you.

Karate chop:

  • Even though I dread going in to work every single day, and my boss is a jerk who drives me crazy, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though I’m overwhelmed with stress because my boss is such a jerk and he makes everything harder than it has to be, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though my stress levels are through the roof, and I feel like my job and my boss are killing me, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself, and I’m considering that maybe I can let go of some of this stress and feel a whole lot better.

Eyebrow: My job is so miserable
Side of eye: And my boss is such a jerk
Under eye: I dread going in every single day
Under nose: I always feel so much stress
Chin: Stress that makes my whole body tight
Collar bone: And makes me anxious and upset
Under arm: It’s so hard to deal with my boss
Top of head: He/she is such an unreasonable person.

Eyebrow: I’m having trouble dealing with the stress
Side of eye: I’m like a rubber band pulled too tight
Under eye: But I’m considering that maybe I can start working
Under nose: On letting go of some of that stress
Chin: I just can’t handle all this stress
Collar bone: So I’m choosing to start releasing it
Under arm: Letting that stress just flow out of my body
Top of head: And replacing it with a feeling of peace.

Eyebrow: This stress is so bad for me
Side of eye: I’m choosing to just let it go
Under eye: Breathing out stress with every breath
Under nose: And breathing in peace and relaxation
Chin: Letting those negative feelings just drain away
Collar bone: And enjoying feeling more at peace
Under arm: Letting go of the last of that stress
Top of head: And replacing that stress with an energy of peace and healing.

Visit my website: Seeking Serenity.

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Every parent has days during which their children drive them to the verge of insanity. They’re just being kids, and doing what kids do, but that’s not always easy for parents to handle.

I can clearly remember when my son was 2 years old, and I called my sister in tears, because my son woke up before me, took an entire tube of toothpaste, and squeezed it all around the toilet seat. I was 3/4 asleep, and never even noticed the toothpaste, so I sat down right on it. YUCK!!! Not a good way to start the day.

If you’re raising children, those days are inevitable, but you don’t have to stay half crazed if you use EFT. For your tapping pleasure, here is a sample tapping script for the days when your kids drive you crazy.

Setup: (Karate chop)

  • Even though my kids are driving me crazy and I’m having trouble staying in control of my temper, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though my kids are doing things that try my patience, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though my kids are getting on my last nerve, and are pushing me to the limit, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself, and I’m reminding myself that they’re just being kids!

Eyebrow: Feeling frustrated that my kids are driving me nuts!
Side of eye: I just can’t take this any more
Under eye: I’m feeling like I might lose my temper
Under nose: And I’m finding it hard to remember
Chin: That they’re only being kids
Collar bone: So much frustration and anger
Under arm: Feeling really upset with my kids
Top of head: And with the way they’re behaving.

Eyebrow: So frustrated with my kids
Side of eye: They know how to push my buttons
Under eye: But maybe I need to find some peace with this
Under nose: And start to let go of the frustration
Chin: They’re just doing what kids do
Collar bone: Same as I did when I was young
Under arm: Maybe I’m over-reacting
Top of head: Letting go of that frustration.

Eyebrow: Letting the frustration just flow away
Side of eye: Replacing it with peace and acceptance
Under eye: Focusing on the love I feel for my kids
Under nose: And how much they mean to me
Chin: Feeling good about those positive emotions
Collar bone: Letting go of the negative
Under arm: Transforming all the frustration and anger
Top of head: Into an energy of healing and peace.

Now go give your kids a big hug and tell that that you love them!

Back to Seeking Serenity.

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We all have times in our lives when our emotions get high. We have a disagreement with a family member, a co-worker, a neighbor or a friend, and we’re upset for hours or even days afterward. We spend a lot of time doing the “I should have said…” thing, and we invest a lot of energy into replaying that disagreement over and over in our head. It never ends any better than it did the first time, but that doesn’t stop the replays. With EFT, we have a tool to use that stops those replays and helps us to reframe what happened so that we can let go of all the emotional charge associated with it.

This is all personal to me right now. I had a falling out with someone. My buttons had already been pushed by another person, and I was primed and ready for a blowout. Dealing with someone else when you are emotionally upset is never a good idea, but sometimes we just don’t have a choice. I didn’t have a choice yesterday.

A quiet discussion led to a more spirited discussion, which led to what I felt was an insult. My perception was that this person was looking down her nose at me, and that made me mad. Hearing a little catch in her voice when she commented didn’t make it any better. She was insulting me and I just knew it.

I don’t like arguing with anyone, but I’m stubborn enough that I won’t back down once I’m engaged. I had been insulted, I knew I had been insulted, and I wasn’t going to take that lying down! Some heated comments were made on both sides, and the conversation was terminated.

Once the anger wore off, the replays started. I should have said this. I should have said that. I wish I’d thought to …. Suddenly I caught myself. What the heck was I doing? Why do this to myself when I could use EFT to neutralize all those negative feelings?

The tapping commenced.

  • Even though Jane acted like a jerk and really made me mad, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself, and I choose peace and serenity.
  • Even though I’m really mad at Jane for insulting me, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself, and I choose to consider that maybe we both were to blame.
  • Even though Jane really pissed me off, I deeply and profoundly love ad accept myself, and I’m open to the possibility
  • that maybe I can make peace with Jane and with myself.

  • I’m really mad at Jane
  • I’m so pissed off at her
  • She acted like such a jerk
  • She insulted me
  • I don’t have to take that
  • I won’t take that
  • I’m mad at Jane
  • That she acted like a jerk
  • Jane made me so mad
  • That I feel like the top of my head
  • Is about to blow off
  • But I choose to take that anger
  • And transform it
  • Into an energy of peace
  • Into an energy of serenity
  • Into an energy of healing
  • I don’t have to hold on to these negative feelings
  • I can release them
  • And I can embrace peace and healing
  • I’ll feel better when the anger is gone
  • And I’m releasing it right now
  • I’m going to let that anger flow
  • And then let it go

After several rounds of tapping I felt so much better. I was calm and relaxed and not the least bit angry any more. I was so happy that I had EFT in my toolkit. No more anger. No more replays. Just peace and serenity and a feeling of total relaxation.

Don’t let your disagreements get the better of you. If you don’t know EFT, learn it. It will make your life better, and and you’ll be glad you did.

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