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Archive for February, 2009

We all have times in our lives when our emotions get high. We have a disagreement with a family member, a co-worker, a neighbor or a friend, and we’re upset for hours or even days afterward. We spend a lot of time doing the “I should have said…” thing, and we invest a lot of energy into replaying that disagreement over and over in our head. It never ends any better than it did the first time, but that doesn’t stop the replays. With EFT, we have a tool to use that stops those replays and helps us to reframe what happened so that we can let go of all the emotional charge associated with it.

This is all personal to me right now. I had a falling out with someone. My buttons had already been pushed by another person, and I was primed and ready for a blowout. Dealing with someone else when you are emotionally upset is never a good idea, but sometimes we just don’t have a choice. I didn’t have a choice yesterday.

A quiet discussion led to a more spirited discussion, which led to what I felt was an insult. My perception was that this person was looking down her nose at me, and that made me mad. Hearing a little catch in her voice when she commented didn’t make it any better. She was insulting me and I just knew it.

I don’t like arguing with anyone, but I’m stubborn enough that I won’t back down once I’m engaged. I had been insulted, I knew I had been insulted, and I wasn’t going to take that lying down! Some heated comments were made on both sides, and the conversation was terminated.

Once the anger wore off, the replays started. I should have said this. I should have said that. I wish I’d thought to …. Suddenly I caught myself. What the heck was I doing? Why do this to myself when I could use EFT to neutralize all those negative feelings?

The tapping commenced.

  • Even though Jane acted like a jerk and really made me mad, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself, and I choose peace and serenity.
  • Even though I’m really mad at Jane for insulting me, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself, and I choose to consider that maybe we both were to blame.
  • Even though Jane really pissed me off, I deeply and profoundly love ad accept myself, and I’m open to the possibility
  • that maybe I can make peace with Jane and with myself.

  • I’m really mad at Jane
  • I’m so pissed off at her
  • She acted like such a jerk
  • She insulted me
  • I don’t have to take that
  • I won’t take that
  • I’m mad at Jane
  • That she acted like a jerk
  • Jane made me so mad
  • That I feel like the top of my head
  • Is about to blow off
  • But I choose to take that anger
  • And transform it
  • Into an energy of peace
  • Into an energy of serenity
  • Into an energy of healing
  • I don’t have to hold on to these negative feelings
  • I can release them
  • And I can embrace peace and healing
  • I’ll feel better when the anger is gone
  • And I’m releasing it right now
  • I’m going to let that anger flow
  • And then let it go

After several rounds of tapping I felt so much better. I was calm and relaxed and not the least bit angry any more. I was so happy that I had EFT in my toolkit. No more anger. No more replays. Just peace and serenity and a feeling of total relaxation.

Don’t let your disagreements get the better of you. If you don’t know EFT, learn it. It will make your life better, and and you’ll be glad you did.

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There isn’t a smoker on the face of the Earth that doesn’t know how unhealthy it is to smoke. No preaching going on here, because you all know! What you often don’t know is how to quit. You want to, and everyone that loves you wants you to quit, but how? EFT can be the answer to that question.

Before we even get to the EFT, though, there are some things you can do if you truly want to quit that will help. One helpful thing to do is to put your cigarettes in a place where you normally wouldn’t keep them, and leave them there. Now you have to get up and go get a cigarette, and that may discourage you from the automatic “pull one out of your pocket and light it” behavior. Another thing to do is to make a promise to yourself that you will only smoke in one certain place, and make that an uncomfortable place. You’re not going to look forward to a nice relaxing smoke if it has to happen in uncomfortable surroundings, so again, it discourages you from automatically lighting up.

Now we move along to the EFT that can help you to stop smoking. Maybe you don’t really believe that you can stop, or that EFT can help you. If so, that’s the place to start tapping.

“Even though I don’t believe I can stop smoking, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”

“Even though there is no way I can stop smoking, even with EFT, but I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and I open myself to the possiblility that maybe it can help.”

“Even though I just don’t believe that I can get along without my cigarettes, I choose to consider that maybe EFT can make a difference for me, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

“All this doubt about quitting.”
“I can’t stop smoking”
“I need to have my cigarettes”
“Can’t get along without them”
“I smoke first thing in the morning”
“I smoke last thing at night”
“I depend on my cigarettes”
“To keep me calm”
“No way can I quit”
“But maybe I can”
“Maybe I can get along without cigarettes”
“Maybe EFT will help me quit”
“I choose to consider”
“That I CAN quit”
“And that EFT can help”
“I can be a non-smoker!”

There may and probably will be a number of other issues that you will need to tap on.

You probably use cigarettes to calm yourself in stressful situations. “Even though I’m afraid that I can’t deal with stress without smoking….”

You may not be able to truly picture yourself as a non-smoker. “Even though I can’t see myself as a non-smoker…”.

You may be afraid of eating too much if you quit smoking. “Even though I’m afraid that I’ll eat way too much and gain weight if I quit smoking….”.

There are certainly others issues that may need to be tapped on, but the most important thing to remember is that with EFT to help, you really CAN quit smoking!

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Getting Unstuck

There are times in our lives for all of us when we know that we are stuck in a place where we don’t really want to be. We may be in a job we hate, or an unhappy marriage, we may have issues with friends or family that need to be resolved in some fashion. We may have a fairly clear of idea of what our problem is, or we may have no idea at all, but whatever our situation, there is one thing that must happen in order for us to get unstuck. We must take action!

Sometimes the problem is clear and the solution is obvious. If we’re in a job that is driving us crazy, we know logically that what we need to do is to find another job. Knowing that, though, and acting on it are two very different things. People are often afraid to leave a job, even if they hate it, because it’s what they know….it’s comfortable for them on some level. The thought of going from a known (your present job) to an unknown (a new and different job) can be pretty darn scary. New boss, new co-workers, new work to do. The thoughts running through your mind could be endless… what if the new boss doesn’t like me?…. what if I don’t fit in with my coworkers?… what if the new work is too hard for me? People let those fears stop them from taking the action that they know they need to take, and stay stuck and miserable in a job that they hate.

It works the same way with a bad marriage. The spouse that you know (who makes you tear your hair out!) is more comfortable than the thought of being alone. Being alone really scares people. They don’t seem to understand that you can be perfectly happy and be unmarried. Women most often have this fear, and end up staying in an unhappy marriage instead of moving toward divorce. Far too often there is a financial component to this too, since women are paid less than men for the same work, and are afraid they may not make it financially if they’re alone. If you’d rather stay with someone who makes you miserable than to be on your own, you need to take a serious look at why that is true. Do you really want to be miserable for the rest of your life?

No matter what your issues may be, and no matter how it is that you’re stuck, it takes looking at your situation and assessing it with honesty in order to move forward. The saying “If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.” is true. If you’re unhappy now, and you choose to stay in your miserable job or miserable marriage, you’ll continue to be unhappy. If want your situation to change for the better, it’s time for an honest assessment of your life.

Some make that assessment, and then decide that the risk is too high for them, so they stay where they are, unhappy but comfortable in the familiar. They are not willing to step out of their comfort zone in order to change their situation.

EFT can help you to make huge changes in what you feel comfortable with, thereby allowing you to move on to better things and more happiness and fulfillment in your life. Feelings of fear or anxiety can be eliminated, freeing you up to take positive steps forward. Feelings of perhaps not being good enough can also be dealt with and eliminated, giving your more confidence to pursue goals that enhance your life. Thinking about leaving a job or a spouse can be pretty darn scary, but it doesn’t have to be if you have EFT. You can find the strength to do the things you need to do, once the fear is gone.

For any of this to happen, though, you have to be willing to look inside yourself. Doing that isn’t easy for any of us, and often it’s painful. You had experiences in your past that caused you to get stuck. Maybe your parents were not loving and supportive, sending you the message that you were unlovable. Maybe you struggled in school and the message from your teachers was that you weren’t good enough. Maybe you were a little different than the other kids as a child, and the other kids made sure that you knew you were an outsider, not accepted for who you were. Any of these kinds of situations can easily leave a part of you emotionally stuck, and carrying feelings that you know logically are not true, but which you emotionally can’t seem to move away from.

The miracle of EFT is that you no longer have to be emotionally stuck. EFT puts the power in your own hands…literally….to change that. Take the time to look inside yourself. The Personal Peace Procedure is a wonderful way to do this. Start tapping daily on the issues that are holding you back. Take back your power. You can move ahead with confidence and find happiness and fulfillment in your life. Or you can choose to stay where you are. If you care about having a better life, don’t do that. EFT can turn your life around, if you’ll only give it a try.

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Claustrophobia can be a crippling condition for people who suffer with it. It can severely limit the things they do and the places they go. For others, they may not even realize that they are claustrophobic until something happens to trigger the condition. This was the case for me.

I never liked small, enclosed places, but never really had a problem until I was sent for an MRI last year. Even though the place I was sent did what are called “open MRIs”, there is still a very small area enclosed on 3 sides and an open area on the 4th side. I might have been fine if I’d been able to face the open side, but due to the part of my anatomy that was being scanned, I had to face into the giant MRI machine.

I moved into the space without a problem, and even allowed the technician to strap me in (who knew they did that?) without a problem, but as the technician walked away and I started to realize how confined I was, and that I couldn’t move, I went into a panic. I noticed first that my lower legs started to shake, and then the shaking moved up my legs and into my trunk. The more constricted I felt, the worse the shaking got. I shook through the entire scan, about 20 minutes, just praying for it to be over quickly.

The technician left me strapped in while he developed the scan pictures, just in case some needed to be redone. He came back into the room a short time later to tell me that none of the pictures was clear enough to send to my doctor, due to all the shaking. He was going to have to completely re-do the MRI.

I knew that I could not possibly make it through another 20 minutes of shaking and terror, so I asked him to release me for a short time, and I started to tap.

“Even though I’m in a really small place and it really scares me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”.

“Even though I feel like I can’t breath because I’m in such a small place, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”.

“Even though I feel like screaming with fear over being shut in and strapped down, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”.

My reminder phrases were:

  • I feel closed in and scared.
  • I feel like I can’t get enough air to breath.
  • My heart is beating so fast.
  • But my brain knows that I’m safe.
  • And there’s plenty of air to breath.
  • I’m choosing to try and relax.
  • And let go of all this fear and anxiety.
  • Releasing the fear with each breath I take.
  • And breathing in calm and confidence.
  • Continuing to let go of the fear.
  • Getting more relaxed and at ease.
  • Breathing easily now.
  • And I can handle this test without a problem.

I tapped three quick rounds, with a lot of tapping on my collar bone point, which is my “sweet spot”. For EFTers, a sweet spot is a tapping point that you find to be particularly effective.

At the end of those three rounds I was calm and in control and could allow myself to be strapped back into the MRI machine without a problem. This time there was no shaking. The tapping had done it.

Another 20 minutes and the scan was done, clear enough to send to my doctor, and I was out the door and on my way home, very glad that I had EFT in my bag of tools.

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