Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘EFT’ Category

Being diagnosed with any serious illness can lead you down a long and bumpy road.  Even if you have suspected long before you got a firm diagnosis, having your doctor say “You have cancer” or “You have MS” or “You have COPD” can be a tremendous shock.  It certainly was for me.

A diagnosis of that kind tends to turn your life upside down initially.  Suddenly you have so many things to consider, or in my case, worry about.  What will this mean for me, short-term and long-term?  How will this affect my family?  Will I be able to work?  What happens if I can’t take care of myself?  What kinds of treatment are available to me?  Will I be able to afford those treatments?  Will I have to deal with a lot of pain?  The list of questions goes on and on, and it’s easy to find yourself in a situation where there are so many things to think about that you can’t concentrate on any one of them.

When I received my cancer diagnosis, I was shocked, angry and deeply saddened.  I knew that I had lots of things that I needed to take care of, so many that I found myself taking long naps in order to escape my reality.

My mind was constantly spinning from one thing to another, which meant that I never really spent the time that I needed to on any one issue.  The issues that go along with major illness are very difficult to think about, a big part of which has to do with facing your own mortality.

At first I resisted tapping about how overwhelmed I was.  I didn’t want to think about all those painful issues.  The book “Even Though I Have Cancer” by Emma Roberts really turned things around for me.  Reading all the insightful things that Emma had to say, as well as her lovely tapping scripts gave me a different perspective and moved me to start tapping.  Tapping bought me the peace of mind that I hadn’t had since my diagnosis.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed too, I’m hoping that the tapping script below will help.  It can also easily be modified for dealing with overwhelm not related to illness.

Tapping Script for Overwhelm

Setup – Karate chop:

  • Even though I feel like my life is spiraling out of control, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  • Even though my illness is making my life so complicated that I don’t know how to deal with it, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  • Even though I’m completely overwhelmed right now, I’m open to the idea that this situation can change for the better, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Reminder phrases:

Eyebrow: I’m sick, and that has turned my life upside down
Outside eye: I feel like I have no control over my own life
Under eye: I’m so overwhelmed that I don’t know which way to turn
Under nose: I can’t seem to get a handle on things, and that makes me feel worse
Chin: How can I concentrate on healing when I can’t think straight?
Collar bone: I need to focus on myself right now
Under arm: Maybe I can get rid of this feeling of overwhelm
Top of head: And find a place of peace and healing.

Eyebrow: That feeling of overwhelm keeps me from functioning
Outside eye: I’m ready to start letting go of that feeling
Under eye: Breathing out the overwhelm with every exhale
Under nose: And breathing in peace with every breath that I take
Chin: Releasing those feeling of confusion
Collar bone: Taking back control of my life
Under arm: I choose to be in a calm and healing place
Top of head: And I’m moving toward that place right now.

Eyebrow: I’m breathing in peace and relaxation
Outside eye: And I feel that sense of peace settling over my body
Under eye: My muscles are becoming more and more relaxed
Under nose: As I let go of more of the overwhelm and confusion
Chin: Letting go of the last of the overwhelm
Collar bone: And embracing a positive attitude about my health
Under arm: Now that I feel calm and in control, I can take better care of me
Top of head: I love being in this place of relaxation and healing.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

When you are diagnosed with any sort of serious illness, you go through many different feelings and emotions.  You question the fairness of life, and no… it isn’t fair.  You find yourself asking the question “Why me?”.  Most of us consider ourselves to be good people, and we certainly all know people who don’t fall under the category of good.  That leads to considering why something like that would happen to us.

For myself, and for many others too, this takes us down an uncomfortable path.  Could it possibly be that I deserve to be sick?

I was deeply shocked to realize that I truly did think that I deserved to be sick.  I thought back to all the bad things I had done in my life, and saw them as the reasons for the illness.  Suddenly it all made sense–if I had been a better person and lived a better life, I wouldn’t be sick now!

On a logical level, this may sound silly, but on a gut level it can feel very real.  For me, it was one more thing to worry about, in addition to all my ongoing physical problems…one more thing I didn’t need or want.

If you feel that you are to blame for your own illness, the tapping script below may help you to release those feelings.

TAPPING SCRIPT FOR BLAMING YOURSELF

Setup:

  • Even though I feel like I am to blame for my own illness, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  • Even though I feel like if I were a better person, I wouldn’t be sick, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  • Even though a part of me feels like I deserve to be sick, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and I’m open to the idea that I could be wrong about that.

Reminder phrases:

Eyebrow: I have nobody to blame but myself for being sick.
Outside eye: I deserve to be sick because I wasn’t always a good person.
Under eye: The things I did in my life earned me this illness.
Under nose: It’s very upsetting for me to think about, but this is my fault.
Chin: I hate feeling like this about myself.
Collar bone: I can’t seem to find peace about this issue.
Under arm: I hurt myself and everyone that I love.
Top of head: But maybe there’s a better way to look at this.

Eyebrow: I think that I caused this illness myself
Outside eye:
But I’m willing to consider that might not be true
Under eye:
I may not have always been perfect
Under nose:
But I was the best person that I knew how to be
Chin:
There must be some reason why I’m sick
Collar bone: But does anyone really deserve to be sick?
Under arm:
Absolutely not!!!
Top of head:
I can learn to cope with this illness without feeling guilty.

Eyebrow: My behavior did not cause my illness
Outside eye:
I won’t waste my time and energy worrying about that
Under eye:
I choose to focus on the positives in my life
Under nose: I can feel better physically and emotionally by keeping it positive
Chin:
My decision is to forgive myself for anything that I feel I did wrong
Collar bone:
Holding onto those negative feelings isn’t serving me well
Under arm:
I choose to smile instead of cry
Top of head:
My body responds to those smiles and that forgiveness, and I’m feeling better.

……………………………………………………………………………..

Tapping Support Group

Are you interested in becoming part of a tapping support group?  My personal focus is on cancer, but I know that a lot of the issues I am dealing with are common for anyone dealing with a serious disease.
The group would “meet” weekily on my conference line and there would be no charge to participate.  My hope is that we can support each other.
If you are interested in participating, please reply to pat@seeking-serenity.com .

Read Full Post »

I was diagnosed with cancer of the duodenum last year.  My battle with cancer has, until now, been fought very privately, and few people knew what I was going through.  I am finally ready to speak publicly, in the hopes that my own experiences may help others to cope with their own personal fight against cancer.

My initial reaction to the cancer diagnosis was denial.  Cancer?  Me??  No way!  Denial was followed by shock and horror, which was then followed by a deep, deep sadness.  I cried an ocean of tears.  Every time that I spoke to a family member or a friend, the tears flowed.  I wasn’t  ready to leave this life, yet the doctors were telling me that I didn’t have that much time left.

Finally I moved emotionally to the place where I am right now.  I have come to a place of acceptance of the fact that I have to deal with the cancer, but not acceptance of the prognosis which was given to me.  I know in my heart of hearts that I have to fight this disease with every fiber of my being.  I have to do that for myself, and for every person that I love.

I have been fortunate to have had wonderful support from family and friends, and a friend and fellow EFT practitioner told me about a new book by Emma Roberts, EFT Master, called Even Though I Have Cancer… I mentioned the book to another friend who had recently had a cancer diagnosis in her own family, and this lovely lady purchased a copy of the book for herself, and a copy for me, for which I am profoundly grateful.

As I explored the book, which is nearly 400 pages long, I found chapter after chapter relating to different aspects of dealing with cancer.  What I was most delighted with were the many tapping scripts related to every topic covered.  As an experienced EFTer, I have had plenty of experience with creating tapping scripts “on the fly” for clients, and for myself.  When dealing with the cancer, however, I felt so totally overwhelmed that I just couldn’t find the words.  What a relief to have an entire library of scripts that I could  refer to and use without having to struggle to say what I wanted.

I have used Emma’s scripts to deal with my fears, my depression and sadness, my fear of chemotherapy, nausea as a result of chemo, and much more.  Emma has given any of us with cancer an amazing resource by writing this book, and I truly hope that any of you who are in the same situation as I am will consider purchasing the book.  as a gift to yourself.

One final comment:  As I go through my day to day struggles, I have found that one of the most healing things for me is laughter.  No matter how badly I might be feeling, a funny comment made by a loved one cheers me right up.  I keep reminding myself to look for the humor in everyday situations, and now I’m passing that along to you…whatever your own personal struggles might be, keep laughing.

Read Full Post »

In a perfect world, we all would be calm and serene, and our interactions with others would always be kind and considerate, as would their interactions with us. Sadly, this is not a perfect world.

We all have days when we get up on the wrong side of the bed, or when something upsetting or stressful has happened, and we just can’t let go of it.  Just as we have those kinds of days, so do all the people that we interact with — family, friends, coworkers, neighbors.  Even the most thoughtful of people can find themselves being short with someone else because they’ve had a bad day.  It happens.

Wen someone else is inconsiderate, thoughtless or downright rude with us, it’s easy to go to a place of annoyance, anger, or hurt and to find yourself muttering something like “I didn’t do anything to deserve that.  ________ really hurt my feelings”.  You may be a “give as good as I get” kind of person, and lash out.  It’s doesn’t help..it just makes things more difficult.

When you find yourself in this kind of situation, why not step back and try to see the situation through the eyes of the other person?  Did your son or daughter just get pushed around by the neighborhood bully?  Did your husband have a run-in with his boss?  Did your neighbor just find out that his/her job is in jeopardy?  Wouldn’t you be upset if you were in that situation?

It’s entirely possible that the best thing you could do for all concerned is to step back with a smile, and with the understanding that what happened may have had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with whatever situation is going on in that person’s life.

There is a difference, though, between choosing to not point the finger, and allowing people to walk all over you.  If you know of something going on in the other person’s life, that may give you the motivation to not engage them in an angry or confrontational way.  If you have no idea what might be going on, give that person the benefit of the doubt.  If the behavior happens again, maybe you could try talking to that person and trying to sort things out.

Most important is not to assume that you’re being attacked verbally or insulted in some way.  You have bad days, I have bad days, we all have bad days.  I wouldn’t like having anyone assume the worst about me on one of my bad days.  I’m usually a kind person, but a financial problem or an argument with a friend or family member might have pushed me over the edge emotionally.  Bottom line..give others the consideration that you would like to have extended to yourself.

Tapping Script For Not Taking Things Personally

Setup – Karate Chop:

  • Even though I’m sometimes quick to jump to the conclusion that others are passing judgment on me, I’m ready for that to change, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  • Even though what happened really hurt my feelings, I’m open to the idea that ________ might have been having a bad day, or might be feeling upset or stressed, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  • Even though I’m upset with __________ right now, I’m willing consider letting go of that feeling, and bringing some healing to this, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Reminders:

Eyebrow: I’m really upset with __________
Side of eye: _________ didn’t have to act the way he/she did
Under eye: It was insulting
Under nose: It was upsetting
Chin: I didn’t deserve that kind of treatment
Collar bone: When someone hurts me that way
Under arm: Sometimes I feel like hurting them right back
Top of head: Maybe it’s time to bring some peace to this.

Eyebrow: I don’t like being treated that way
Side of eye: But maybe _________ was just having a bad day
Under eye: It felt very personal when it happened
Under nose: But maybe there was nothing personal about it
Chin: I’m ready to start letting go of some of this hurt
Collar bone: I’m ready to move toward healing
Under arm: Starting to release those hurt feelings
Top of head: Transforming that hurt to an energy of peace.

Eyebrow: Breathing out more and more of the hurt
Side of eye:
Feeling my body start to relax
Under eye: I’m ready to cut ________ some slack
Under nose: And to move on from there
Chin: Continuing to release those hurt feelings
Collar bone: I’m feeling better about myself
Under arm: And I’m feeling better about _________ too
Top of head: Tranforming the last of the hurt into a healing energy.


Visit my website at Seeking Serenity.

Read Full Post »

The Inner Theater technique involves the client using EFT and visual imagery in a way which allows them to approach highly emotionally charged memories that is non-threatening to the client and is less traumatic than some more traditional approaches.

With Inner Theater, a client creates a safe place in their mind/imagination — an inner sanctuary of sorts in which they have total control. Nobody can enter that sanctuary without their permission, and nothing can happen in that space that they don’t wish to have happen.

Clients are encouraged to give their imagination free reign, and to “go with the flow”, and not try to analyze what happens as this imagery plays out.  Things seem to evolve very naturally and easily when using Inner Theater, and the solutions flow just as easily.  If a client can trust in the process, they will find EFT and Inner Theater to be powerful tools for change and healing.

I have found inner Theater to be an effective technique for me personally, although I don’t consider myself to be a particularly visual person. Even if you can’t actually create a picture in your mind, so long as you can imagine the picture/scene, the technique works. Continuous tapping, without specific words, is often a part of my Inner Theater sessions.

Using Inner Theater, you have all the power, and you can transform even the most frightening things in your past into something less threatening and easier to work with using traditional EFT.

For instance, if you carry a lot of fear related to incidents in your past, think about what it would take to make you feel safe. In an Inner Theater session of my own, during which I worked with a skilled EFT practitioner experienced in Inner Theater, I addressed all the fear that I had due to a history of physical abuse.  Unable to confront the fear directly, I visualized myself projecting the fear outside of my body, and I magically transformed it into a gray, swirling mist. As I continuously tapped, that mist became a small tornado, and the faster it swirled, the smaller it got. Finally the fear was reduced to a lump of coal.

I tapped on my need to feel safe, and realized that I still had some work to do. I visualed putting that piece of coal into a trunk, covering it with chains and locks, and transporting it to a faraway location. Next I buried the trunk, surrounded it with a high fence, topped with razor wire, and surrounded it with fierce guards.

Another way that I have personally used EFT and Inner Theater is to deal with guilt. I was carrying a lot of guilt about my mothering abilities, and that guilt was constantly pricking at me. When I thought about how I pictured the guilt, I got a mental image of me laying on a bed of nails. Each nail represented a time that I felt I had failed my children. Every time I moved, the nails would prick me. How could I get off of that bed of nails? I tapped continuously as I pondered that, and gradually got a picture of the nails transforming into soft blades of grass, gently cushioning me. The guilt diminished, and I could feel the emotional intensity of this issue dropping as I continued to tap.

Next I pictured a conversation between my daughter and I.  I expressed my guilt about the way in which I had raised her, and I apologized. Her response was “You’re a great mom, and I’m lucky to have you!” (Something she had actually said to me). I tapped on those very positive statements, and the level of my guilt dropped even more, while my confidence about what kind of mother I’d been increased.

EFT and Inner Theater can be used in a multitude of ways, with your only limits being those of your imagination. If you can think it and picture it, you can work on it, so why not give a try?

Read Full Post »

Fibromyalgia is a devastating condition to live with. I lived with it myself, and I know. When you have fibromyalgia, you are in pain every minute of every day. Your general practitioner or rheumatologist will provide you with pain medication, from which you can get some relief, but the pain never really goes away. Living like that wears you down both physically and emotionally.

From my own personal experience, I know that doctors don’t leave you with much hope, in terms of possible improvement of your condition. My own doctor told me, “We’ve talked about this before. It’s always going to be this way, so accept it.”

His words did nothing to push me in the direction of acceptance. Quite the opposite, in fact. My doctor made me absolutely fibrodetermined to do anything and everything that I could to move out of that world of constant pain.

I had discovered the wonders of EFT not long before my diagnosis.  I was tapping for work related stress, and getting some very good results.  When I look back now, I know that EFT was the only thing that allowed me to stay in a job that I hated and still be functional.

What I realized at some point was that the more stress I was able to tap away with EFT, the less pain I had.  On the days that my stress level was at its’ highest, my pain was nearly intolerable.

That was, for me, a wonderful incentive to keep on tapping.  The tapping not only allowed me to feel better emotionally, it also reduced my pain and made me more comfortable physically.

As it became more and more obvious that my pain level was going down, I dared to start dreaming of getting off the medications that I was taking, two of which were for pain, and one which helped me to sleep.  I continued to tap on the work stress on a daily basis, but now also tapped on the pain directly, and how it made me feel.  I found that I had anger, frustration, sadness and a sense that my body had let me down.  I tapped on all of it.

I began keeping a tapping journal.  I kept track of what I tapped on each day, what feelings that bought up, what kind of relief I got, and what outstanding issues (tail enders) came up during my tapping.  The journal really helped to keep me focused on my goal.

After several months of tapping and journaling, it became obvious to me that my pain level was low enough to start working on getting the drugs out of my system.  I started with my strongest pain killer, weaning myself off it, until I no longer was taking it at all.  Next came my second pain killer, which I also weaned myself off, being careful to keep journaling about what went on each day.  Next I reduced the medication that I was taking to help me sleep, and finally stopped it completely.  The last step for me was being weaned off of the Cymbalta that my rheumatologist had recommended.  This is a drug with most unpleasant side effects at times, and you should never stop it suddenly, or on your own.  I was taken off Cymbalta gradually, with reduced doses, under the supervision of my doctor.

After years of being heavily medicated, I was now drug free except for my medication for hypertension.  What a personal victory that was, and what a lesson it was for me as far as the closed minds of many doctors.  It never even occurred to my rheumatologist that my condition could improve, and since he had no hope, he took away mine, a terrible thing to do.

If you suffer from fibromyalgia, and would like to start tapping on your pain and what might be at the bottom of it, your best bet is to start a tapping journal of your own.  Start tracking:

  • Your daily pain levels.
  • How that pain makes you feel. (Sad, angry, helpless, etc.)
  • What can you NOT do now, that you could do before?
  • Is there a secondary gain for you in not being able to do those things?
  • Would peoples’ expectations of you change if you were to stop having so much pain?
  • Do you get more attention/care/nurturing because you’re in pain?
  • How much relief do you get when you tap directly on the pain?
  • How much relief do you get when you tap on the emotions around the pain?
  • What kind of tapping seems to work best for you?

By keeping a journal about these kinds of issues, you track your progress and are able to easily see what is most effective for you.  Using EFT to address your condition is good.  Doing this while keeping a tapping journal is even better.

Perhaps most important of all on a journey like this is to be persistent, and try to not get discouraged.  Relief doesn’t happen overnight, and you need to be encouraged by each small victory that you have.  Hang in there, keep tapping, and you too can move past fibromyalgia.


 

Visit my website at http://seeking-serenity.com.

Download the FREE ebook “The Forgiveness Workbook” here.

Read Full Post »

Are you one of those people who is constantly doing things for others, while always putting yourself at the bottom of your own list of priorities? If so, it’s time to look at how you move yourself to the top of the list, where you belong.

When you consistently put others ahead of yourself, putting all your energy into doing for them, by the time that you get to yourself, you’ve used up all your energy. There is a big difference between being selfish and recognizing that you are important too. Always making yourself a top priority, to the exclusion of those around you who deserve some of your time and energy, is selfish. Taking the time and effort to treat yourself well, and to put some energy into keeping yourself well and happy is not selfish…it’s vital to your health and well being.

Some of us, particularly of the female persuasion, seem to be born to be care takers. We dote over our children. We wait on our partners. We fuss over family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. Everyone num1adores us for all the loving attention that we give them, but at some point we start to feel resentful of the fact that we never have time for ourselves.

People around us come to expect the attention that we lavish on them, and often start making demands of us. If you’re a caretaker that puts everyone else first, you almost certainly have trouble saying no. You may secretly get angry with the person making demands (“Why do they always ask ME?”) and angry with yourself (“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I say no?”), but in the end we usually do say yes, whether we actually want to or not. It feels selfish to say no.

The reality is that we all have just a finite amount of energy. There has to be a balance. Putting every bit of your energy into taking care of other people and ignoring your own needs is counterproductive. If you take care of yourself, you’ll ultimately have more energy for everything else in your life. You’ll feel better about you.

EFT can be a useful tool for helping you to refocus on yourself. Give the tapping script below a try, and see if you can move yourself to the top of your priority list.

Tapping Script For Putting Yourself First

Setup – Karate chop:

  • Even though I get mad at myself for putting everyone else first, and forgetting about me, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though I seem to think that everyone else is more important than me, so I don’t see myself as a priority, I still deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though logically I know that I’m important too, and I need to give more attention to me, I keep using up all my energy on other people, but I deeply and profoundly love and accept all the parts of me, even the part that puts everyone else in front of me, and I’m open to the possibility that I can refocus on myself.

Reminder phrases:

Eyebrow: I’m at the bottom of my own priority list
Outside eye: I use up all my energy on other people
Under eye: No matter what they need, I don’t feel like I can say no
Under nose: Saying no would be selfish
Chin: But I get mad at myself
Collar bone: For always saying yes to others
Under arm: But always saying no to myself
Top of head: I think it may be time to change my priorities.

Eyebrow: I’m open to the idea that I’m important too
Outside eye: And I’m ready to start looking out for me
Under eye: Starting to release the feeling that I don’t matter
Under nose: And embracing my own value and importance
Chin: I don’t say no to other people
Collar bone: Because I think they’re more important than me
Under arm: And I feel like their needs should come first
Top of head: But it’s past time to take care of me!

Eyebrow: My needs are just as important as anyone elses
Outside eye: And I’m entitled to give time and energy to myself
Under eye: I’m deserving of that time and energy
Under nose: Continuing to let go of my feelings of not being important
Chin: Recognizing my value as a person
Collar bone: Feeling better and better about myself
Under arm: And realizing that I’ll be better able to take care of others
Top of head: If I take care of myself first.

Eyebrow: Releasing my need to always say yes to others
Outside eye: Because I’m just as important as they are
Under eye: I have the right to say no if I want to
Under nose: People won’t stop caring about me just because I say no
Chin: Feeling stronger and more confident
Collar bone: As I move higher and higher on my priority list
Under arm: Releasing the last of my feeling of not being important
Top of head: And bringing a healing energy to this situation.

Visit my website at Seeking Serenity.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »