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Archive for January, 2009

I had an errand to do today on the other side of town. Normally no big deal, but today there was some construction going on. The construction crew was blocking traffic in both directions, and only allowing a certain number of cars through from 1 direction before stopping that line of cars and allowing cars from the other direction.

Traffic was badly backed up, and vehicles were moving through the construction zone at a crawl. When it comes to that sort of situation, I tend to be a Type A personality, chomping at the bit, spouting obscenities that nobody can hear but me, and trying to move the traffic through force of will.

My normal strategy didn’t work well for me today. I had a client scheduled and had to be back home by a certain time, and if traffic didn’t start moving, I was going to be late. My willpower was clearly not making the cars move through the construction any faster. Then suddenly, the light came on! EFT, right there at my fingertips, ready to use. And I did.

I may have had a few people looking at me and wondering what the heck I was doing, as I tapped through the points, but at that point, I really didn’t care. I just needed to relax and go with the flow. It took 3 rounds (I was awfully anxious), but after those rounds, I felt relaxed and no longer was in danger of the top of head blowing off. Suddenly it didn’t seem like the traffic was moving quite as slowly, and before I knew it, I was on the other side of the construction.

What a wonderful tool EFT is! Always there for you to use, no matter where you are or what’s going on. Fast, easy, and reliable in terms of getting results. Got EFT? If not, you should check it out.

Setup Phrase for Stuck-in-Traffic Rant
KC – Even though I’m stuck in this &$^(#^#%^@ traffic and it isn’t moving, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and I trust that I’ll get where I need to be in time.
Reminder Phrases
EB – I hate this ^%*$#(#$& traffic
SE – It’s driving me crazy to be stuck like this
UE – I’m so frustrated
UN – I need to be somewhere
CH – Why are the cars moving so slowly?
CB- This &^%*($( traffic!
UA – It’s making me feel stressed
TH – I hate this traffic

EB – I feel stressed about being stuck here
SE – But maybe I won’t be stuck much longer
UE – This is soooo frustrating
UN – But maybe I’m over-reacting
UL – The cars just aren’t moving
CH – But I’m hopeful that they’ll move soon
CB – I’m stressed about this traffic
UA – But I choose to transform that stress
TH – Into an energy of peace

EB – This traffic is so frustrating
SE – But it has to start moving soon
UE – I still have enough time
UN – I can make it home for my appointment
CH – I choose to transform this negative emotion
CB – Into a positive energy of peace
UA – I choose to trust
TH – That the universe will get me home in time.

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Do you present a confident face to the world, while in your heart of hearts you feel like you’re not really good enough? Maybe that means not good enough at your job, maybe it means not a good enough mother or wife, maybe it just means not a good enough person. Whatever your feelings of inadequacy relate to, know that EFT can help you change how you feel about yourself, so that the confident face you present to the world becomes your true face.

Often there are childhood issues related to not feeling that you’re good enough. If you grew up in a dysfunctional or abusive family, or had parents that criticized more than they praised, it’s hard to feel that you’re a good person. If the people who love you the most are telling you, by word or deed, that you don’t measure up, you take that to heart. You internalize that message, and it becomes a part of who you are, and how you relate to others.

If you are in a work or family situation and are criticized, or even questioned about something you’ve said or done, you still have that hyper-critical parent whispering in your ear, “They’re saying that because you didn’t do a good enough job!”. It’s easy to slip into being defensive or even confrontational if you feel that you are being personally attacked, and that whisper in your ear is telling you that is exactly what’s happening.

Working with EFT can help you to change the way that you react in situations such as this. EFT can restore your confidence, and allow you to feel good about yourself and what you’re doing. EFT can turn that not good enough feeling into “I’m darn sure good enough!”, and in the process can make your life easier and more pleasant.

You’ll also find that as your behaviors change, those around you change in the way that they interact with you. By you changing your dance steps in this dance of relationships, you force them to change theirs. As your confidence grows, others around you will feel that change, and will react to it in a positive way. If the energy emanating from you is carrying the message, “I’m a confident and competent person and do a good job”, others will know, and believe.

All those wonderful results for the small amount of time you put into learning EFT, and using it on a daily basis. EFT can literally change your life. Find out about it. Learn it. Use it. You will be so happy that you did.

Tapping Script For Not Feeling Good Enough

Karate chop:

  • Even though I just don’t feel like I’m good enough, I’m open to loving and accepting myself.
  • Even though I feel like nothing I do is good enough, and that’s pretty depressing, I’m working on loving and accepting myself.
  • Even though I feel like I’m not nearly good enough, I’m hoping that this tapping will help me feel better, and I really want to love and accept myself.

Eyebrow: I never feel like I’m good enough
Inside eye: No matter what I do or say
Under eye: Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything right
Under nose: And that if the people around me really knew me
Chin: They wouldn’t want anything to do with me
Collar bone: Because I’m just not good enough
Under arm: I feel like I can never measure up
Top of head: And I really hate feeling this way.
Top of head:

Eyebrow: I’m hoping that I can tap away this feeling
Inside eye: And start to see some good things about me
Under eye: Ready to start releasing some of those feelings of being unworthy
Under nose: Letting go of my “not feeling good enough” feeling a little at a time
Chin: Choosing to start looking for the good things in me
Collar bone: As I slowly and surely let go of all those negative feelings
Under arm: I’m ready to feel good about myself.
Top of head:

Eyebrow: Continuing to release the “not good enough” feeling
Inside eye: Letting go of my bad image of myself
Under eye: Starting to embrace a feeling of confidence about myself
Under nose: As I realize that I AM good enough
Chin: Releasing the last of the feeling of not being good enough
Collar bone: Letting it just drain right out of my body
Under arm: Replacing my doubts with a feeling of calm confidence
Top of head: And feeling good about the person that I am.

Visit my website at Seeking Serenity.

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Are you a passionate fan of some brand of sugar filled soft drink? Do you drink a lot more of it than you know is healthy? Is all that sugar causing you to gain weight? EFT can be wonderfully effective at controlling these kinds of cravings.

Recently I had a client with a “Mountain Dew habit”. She drank Mountain Dew morning, noon and night. The first thing she did when she got up in the morning was to drink a Mountain Dew. The last thing she did at night was to drink a Mountain Dew. Everywhere she went, she took a Mountain Dew with her. As we spoke by Skype, she had an entire case of Mountain Dew right next to her in her living room. She knew that she was gaining weight due to all that sugar, but she was helpless to control the craving.

First I asked her how she felt about Mountain Dew. She said, “I HAVE to drink it. If I don’t have a Mountain Dew in my hand, it doesn’t feel right. I can’t get up in the morning without it. I can’t go out without it. I know I can’t stop drinking it.”

I asked to rate the intensity of her craving, and it was a 10. We started tapping on her thoughts and feelings. After one round of tapping, her craving was down to a 5. A second round of tapping bought that intensity down to a 2. We did a third round of tapping, incorporating a choices statement about a healthier choice of drinks, and we were down to a zero!

Three rounds of tapping, and about 5 minutes of time were all it took for EFT to eliminate this client’s Mountain Dew craving, to the point where she said, “I don’t even feel like drinking one.” So fast, so easy, and EFT works this well for all kinds of cravings.

If you find yourself agonizing over a food or drink craving that you just can’t control, why not give EFT a try, and maybe you’ll find your craving gone as quickly and easily as my client’s was.

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EFT and Salem

Salem is my cat!

And yes, you CAN use EFT on animals. EFT is every bit as effective on animals as it is on people.

Salem has been my constant companion for the last ten years. I will freely admit that I treat him like a child, because in many ways he is my child. I love him and dote over him.

When Salem first started scratching and licking excessively, I got worried. Although he wasn’t in pain, it was clear that his problem was very distressing to him. Day after day, he scratched, and then licked over and over, until tufts of his hair started to fall out. From past experience, I knew that Salem had allergies, so in order to give my poor kitty some relief, I decided to try EFT on him.

I hadn’t previously used EFT on an animal, and was unsure of how best to proceed. Although I knew you could actually tap directly on an animal, Salem is not a patient cat, so I knew I needed a better way to handle things. Ultimately, I found that the best way to handle the tapping was to hold Salem in my lap. I kept one hand on him, and tapped with the other hand, reciting the phrases as if I were Salem. (This is called surrogate EFT.)

The first few times I tried tapping on Salem, I didn’t see much in the way of results, although he did become very relaxed, and appeared to enjoy the tapping. Knowing how important persistence is, I continued the tapping sessions daily, and after a week I could definitely see improvement.

I continued tapping on Salem daily for about two weeks, and at the end of that time, his scratching had stopped, his licking had stopped, and his hair was starting to grow back in. Success in handling a troublesome kitty problem!

You may not have ever considered using EFT on your pets, but give it a try if a problem arises. As Gary Craig so often says, “Try it on everything!”.

Sample Tapping Script for an Arthritic Dog

(Tap directly on the dog, or tap on yourself surrogately)
Setup Statement

(Karate Chop) Even though all my joints ache, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Reminder Phrases:

(Eyebrow) My joints ache
(Side of eye) I hurt all over
(Under eye) It hurts to get up
(Under nose) It hurts to walk
(Chin) It even hurts when I sleep
(Collar bone) I don’t like hurting
(Under arm) I don’t like feeling bad
(Top of head) Everything hurts

(Eyebrow) I’m in so much pain
(Side of eye) But choose to transform that pain
(Under eye) Into an energy of healing
(Under nose) I choose to be able to walk without pain
(Chin) I choose to be able to run and play
(Collar bone) I choose to transform all the aches and pains
(Under arm) Into an energy of healing
(Top of head) I choose to live pain free

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EFT and Anger

Anger. We all experience it. Most of us feel guilty about it. It’s usually not pretty, but it’s part of life. Often it’s difficult for us to own our anger. Nobody really wants to admit feeling an emotion that we’re not proud of.

Anger can sneak up on us. Someone says or does something that we perceive to be insulting or demeaning, and the anger is right there. However good their intentions were, we’re not mad at them, and often feeling guilty about being mad as well.

EFT is the most effective tool that I’ve ever used for anger. I had deep wells of anger over certain things in my life, and found that by admitting to the anger and tapping through the issues, the anger could be dispelled quickly and easily.

Anger is self destructive, and accomplishes nothing for you except to make you feel bad about yourself. Why not give EFT a try with your own anger? And if you do give it a try, be honest with your words. Something as simple as honest as the following can make all the difference in the world:

  • Even though I’m incredibly mad at my son….
  • Even though I’m just as pissed off as I can be at my son….
  • Even though I’m so mad at my son that I’d like to slap him…

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Limiting beliefs are universal. No matter who we are, or what we’re doing, it’s always a bit hard to step outside of our comfort zone. Doing something new and different can be intimidating. Even if it’s something that we want with every fiber of our being, there can be things holding us back from achieving what we want.

This is a perfect time for folks to listen for those tail enders. Your self talk may be along the lines of “I know I can handle doing such-and-such”, but your tail enders may be things like “Who am I fooling?”, “I don’t have the experience to do that”, and “I don’t know enough about such and such to do it”.

If you take a little time to write an affirmation for whatever it is that you want to do, and then repeat that affirmation out loud, the tail enders will almost certainly come. We all have self doubts. Make a list of all those tail enders, and don’t be discouraged if there are quite a few of them.

This is the place where EFT can work wonders. Using your list, find the tail ender that has the most emotional charge for you. Don’t think you know enough to accomplish your goal? Start tapping on that, and as you eliminate each of those limiting beliefs, move on the next one on the list, until you’ve worked on them all.

You may very well find that you’ll need to readdress some of those limiting beliefs. Circumstances can cause doubts and fears to rear their heads, even after you think you’ve dealt with them completely. Don’t get discouraged. Just keep tapping, and sooner or later those limiting beliefs will have disappeared, and you’ll find yourself moving happily toward your goal.

Sample Tapping Script: Limiting Beliefs About Finding a New Job

Karate chop:

  • Even though I’m really miserable in my job because ____________, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though it would be wonderful if I was able to find a new and better job, and I’d be a happier person, I don’t think it will happen because _________, but I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though the best thing I could do for myself is to get out of this darn job, I really don’t think that I’ll be able to find another job, but I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.

Eyebrow: I’m so miserable in my job
Inside eye: I dread going in every single day
Under eye: I look for excuses not to have to go to work
Under nose: My job is driving me crazy
Chin: I know that I need to find another job
Collar bone: But I just can’t see that happening
Under arm: Who would want to hire ME?
Top of head: I’m going to be stuck in this awful job forever!

Eyebrow: I sure wish I could find a job that wouldn’t make me so miserable
Inside eye: But I’m afraid I can’t do that, so I’m not really even trying
Under eye: I’m afraid that nobody would hire me
Under nose: So I just stay in this job that I hate
Chin: It’s time to take some action
Collar bone: And to recognize that I COULD find another job
Under arm: Starting to release the fear of leaving my job
Top of head: I’m ready to take some positive steps.

Eyebrow: Letting go of all my fears and self doubts
Inside eye: About my ability to find a better job
Under eye: I’m an intelligent and capable person
Under nose: I would be an asset to anyone that hired me
Chin: Moving toward a feeling of confidence in myself and my abilities
Collar bone: Continuing to let go of my doubts and fears
Under arm: As I fully acknowledge my own skills and abilities
Top of head: Feeling confident in my ability to find a job I can love!

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Lots of us live with work related stress. I did for a very long time. I didn’t handle it well. I seemed to be in a constant state of upset, as my high stress job impacted on my life and on my emotions. My boss was a jerk, my deadlines were unrealistic, and I was only noticed if I screwed up. Not a pleasant way to exist.

When I could no longer stand the unending stress and accompanying headaches (and lets not forget the crying binges) I started looking aroun for a magic bullet. No more talking therapy. I’d been there and done that and found it totally ineffective. This was the point at which I stumbled across EFT.

I devoured everything I could find online about EFT, and then ordered a couple of books. It looked like it might be something that could really help me, so I started tapping.

At first it was kind of embarrassing. After a particularly bad meeting or a run-in with the boss, a coworker would walk into my office and find me tapping away. Despite my embarrassment and the skepticism of coworkers, I tapped on, and found that after 2 or 3 rounds of tapping, my anxiety level came right down, and I felt much more relaxed and in control.

No longer did I have to go through entire days with my body tied up in knots from stress and anxiety. Now I was able to quickly and easily get myself calmed down. I could neutralize the anger (there was lots of that) and tap until I no longer felt in danger of breaking down in tears. It didn’t make my job any better, but it did allow me to deal with both job and boss in a much more reserved and professional manner.

EFT can do the same for you. If you are also dealing with job stress, and finding yourself upset, angry or at the end of your rope, give EFT a try. Just a few minutes of tapping can make a big difference, and can give you the ability to keep a smile on your face, because you now know a secret that those around you don’t.

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